There is no other religion that treasures and emphasises the noble status of a mother as much as Islam. Many of us know that mothers are one of our main gateways to Jannah and hence Allah SWT has created us humans to have a natural affinity more towards our mothers. It is said by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, an American Islamic scholar, that women are better at love than men and that is why Allah SWT made them mothers. Although a mother’s love is incomparable to any other family member or friend, it is necessary to have another type of love that is complementary and that comes in the form of a father. Though they are not equal, these differences are important in the sense that a father can never fully give what a mother provides for their children and a mother can never truly give what a father provides for their children.
Our fathers are often underrated hence I am writing this to express my appreciation towards my own father. Alhamdullilah, I am grateful that my father has always been present in my life and although my relationship with him was rough at the start, it has improved immensely. Everyone’s relationship with their fathers are different, but I hope that after reading this, it will remind you to appreciate them and even forgive them for their shortcomings.
my abah
To the very first man in my life
Who taught me many valuable lessons
Thank you for taking care of me since I was small
Carrying me all night long whenever I had asthma attacks
A very humble man who is selfless
Though his job was not as grand
I believe it is better than any other
As he loved listening to his passengers’ rants and giving them good advice
My dad was the sole breadwinner of the family
Worked hard all day and night just to feed 6 mouths
We could not afford to go on any family trips overseas
But as a child, I enjoyed the simple yet irreplaceable moments I had with him
Some nights, after a long hard day at work
He would call us to follow him buy groceries at Mustafa centre
where we would eat supper together and buy anything we wanted
Even on the way home, I felt like I was on top of the world when we would sing songs together
Looking back at the videos he used to take
Capturing pure memories we shared with each other
I was much happier as a child when I did not compare my life to others
Unfortunately, in my teenage years, I started to despise my father
I was mad at him for many reasons
I felt as though he was controlling my life wherever he would disapprove of my outfits
He told me I should never feel the need to show more to feel beautiful
But back then, all I wanted was just to fit in with my other friends
As I am writing this right now with a heavy heart, I still feel guilty for how I was back then
I was an ungrateful brat who demanded from my parents more than what they could provide
And what I will never ever forgive myself for, is when my dad would offer to drive me to school
And I would asked him to drop me off anywhere but inside
Because I did not want my friends to see the taxi I got out of
School was just a few minutes walk away from home
But he just wanted to spend time with me, you see
And yet, that was how I treated him...
I am sorry abah
In my rebellious stage, I was unhinged
My dad took adab very seriously, especially when it comes to adab towards parents
If my older sister or I were to use the wrong word or tone towards him
He would discipline us in a way that made us want to run away from home forever
He was and is still a very patient and tolerable man
All he expected was great respect and adab from his children
I used to find it very ridiculous for him to cause chaos in the house whenever I did not address him
But now I realise it has taught me to control my tongue and cautious of the way I speak towards others
My father is a man of good character
And trained his children to learn from him
But some of his expectations were too high
That it was unbearable to be in his presence
That was all in the past of course
Thankfully my father has come to the realisation that not everyone has the same capabilities
And since then, he has become more lenient towards his children
However it was hard for us to look past that as the wounds have yet to heal
As I mature, I realise that my father has always tried his level best to be a good parent
Which was a struggle for him considering that his parents divorced when he was young
He never had a father figure in his life
And often at night, he loved watching movies where the dad character was the hero and saves the day
He was actually trying to learn from them
Dear Abah,
I hope you know how much we all look up to you
You are the best father we could ever ask for and we love you very much
Though you are not very good in expressing your emotions, we see how much you love us whenever we would mention a food we like once and that would be the only thing we eat for the next few weeks
I pray that Allah SWT grants you and mama Jannatul Firdaus for every silent drop of blood, sweat and tears you have sacrificed for this family