To Be Who I Need To Be
I've missed you.
There's an ache in my heart, empty of your presence,
that I once tried to fill with worldly distractions
but it merely slipped away
like cradling sand in weak hands.
I feel like a fraud.
Falling to my knees only when my shoulders are taut;
when I could no longer bear the weight I've put upon it
but shrug it off when the world requests it.
Sometimes I ignore
the tugging of my soul
by Your subtle call,
for me to come home.
Days turn to draught.
Your love for me, I forgot.
Yet, I still have the nerve to wonder
why life sometimes feels like a disaster.
It's an unbreaking cycle -
with remorse and a laden tongue, I beg for Your forgiveness;
ask for Your assistance;
but still I forget consistency’s importance.
I pray You give me strength
to pull myself out of this self-induced hell.
I pray you won't give up on me
despite all that you see of me.