• Ikhmah Roslie

Let Me Tell You A Story


Illustration by @paintbypaint

Let me tell you a story of how I’ve died a thousand deaths for love,

First slain by my father to whom I was martyred in the name of lost affection,

Then struck by an arrow that left the bow of a lover. Is this what love is worth?

Of festering wounds, of trauma hidden in bandages, the neglect is blurring my vision.

Perhaps it’s time, shrouded in white, my body lowered seven feet deep into this earth,

The wailing of my mother, then the first cry of my nieces, a bundle of beauty & perfection.

Resuscitated by God’s blessings, another attempt at living, I shall continue to serve.

Love who you want, love what you want, just know that you’ll be tried with affliction

Of the love you’ve received, of the love that you’ve lost, be reminded of the love from above.

To love is to die repeatedly but I’ve survived to tell you this story - this is my resurrection.

Let me tell you a story of how I’ve shed a thousand tears for friendship,

The highs & the lows, the ebb & the flow, stories of all sorts I could tell.

The departure of a friend, a reminder to do good while we can before we embark on a trip

Where the journey is long & the provisions are little, a verdict between Heaven & Hell.

The separation from my best friend - he’s heaven-sent - his name never estranged from my lips.

I understand her doubts & anxiety, the need for stability - I’m a woman & I know it all too well.

We met for His sake, let’s part for His too. To Him, the both of you I’ll leave (& your kids).

The betrayal from three friends, misplaced loyalty & lies that never seemed to end, alas I...fell.

I’ve seen past the toxicity, with His will I’ve gained clarity. I’ve had enough, it’s time to get a grip.

To befriend is to shed tears, blood, sweat - all of that, to be reunited in the best of places to dwell.

Let me tell you a story of how I’ve walked a thousand miles for knowledge,

A university degree, is that what it really means to be successful, to have made it

In this fleeting life of subjective measurements, of KPIs, of numbers & percentage?

Did I work this hard, did I sacrifice sleep to become obsessed? To wrongly worship

The NTU sign? Have I crossed the line & become distracted out of the fear of being average?

What does it mean to be knowledgeable? Ya Allah, bestow upon me Your grace & Your grit

Even if a fraction for me to be able to seek the truth, my purpose, the ultimate message.

In bits & pieces, in various rhymes & reasons, He led me to a path less travelled to commit

Towards understanding this life & thyself, the grander scheme written in His language.

To seek knowledge is to seek light - an illumination to be worthy of His sight unlike the hypocrites.

Let me tell you a story of how I’ve searched a thousand nights for You,

In the silence of the night, as sinful thoughts are circling my mind, I ask from You in a whisper.

In the stillness of dawn, as poison is dripping from my thoughts, I wait for the morning hue

To lift it all up to You, conversations between me & You - Ya Allah, please don’t let me falter.

Don’t let me go astray, please show me the way of the righteous because I want in on that too.

Sometimes, I don’t understand. This world is making me mad. I’m doubting Your wisdom & power

To be certain, you must first deal with uncertainty & so breakdowns happen before breakthroughs,

All in the name of trying to teach you to hold on & trust in Him, the Ultimate Protector.

With that, I pray that you break through whatever’s trying to break you, the way He did for me too.

To search for You is to find myself too, for within me I see You & to meet You is to die a believer.

Will you let me tell you a story that you'll tell to your children in my riddles & rhymes,

Of a thousand losses, of a thousand lovers, of a thousand tears & of a thousand prayers,

Of the thousand times I've fallen yet His mercy prevails tirelessly a thousand & one times.

To learn from the past is to better the future, with the ideals of the young & the wisdom of the elders

To emulate the Prophet, oh blessed is he, the best being to ever grace this earth, just one of His signs

Of the guidelines He has given, of the stories He has written to turn our hearts & move us to tears.

Stories unfold & yet the ending is unknown. So let’s say a little prayer & please straighten your lines.

Today we lift our hands in prayer to be reunited with beloved & familiar faces, in the best of places

Where we’ll forget all heartbreak & struggle, smelling heaven’s fragrance & hearing heavenly chimes.

With beautiful patience & prayer, awaiting for the best of phases in the presence of the Most Gracious.


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