- Huszainy Sa'ad from ELEVEN
#06-690

I love the fact that we decorate our homes.
Some for themselves others for others
I imagine it extends our souls and emanates our being.
Maybe that’s why I’ve begun to notice how
you like to shift the furniture around a lot
you get your inspiration from the channels
you browse on the daily on the TV hanging on the wall
installed two inches too high off your eye level
and so sofas were bought with this in mind
walls
as pale as could be
you said it’s easier to complement
I was unsure
if you meant to match colour or life
and speaking of colour the yellow placemats
do little to save the bland Corelles
monkeys never look good hugging ash drapes
and ashtrays do not belong indoors but then again
you’ve always had an uninspired eye for decoration.
And I know that because
just like how you decorate our home
I want to decorate you
or redecorate us and this deafening silence we share
with garden-plucked sunflowers or artificial lilies
either is fine
because they both breathe the words our lips struggle
with that I imagine my ears would tingle to
perhaps I could chisel away at my dignity
and carve a relationship out of this limestone floor
even vacuum the hurt from under the rug or tend to
the wounds on my cupboard door but I do not
and like you
I refuse to part my lips how
they are stubbornly sealed to conceal precious
lines like a book unwilling to crack its spine
like you
I leave the room when its oxygen is halved
fitting how our bedrooms maintain a safe distance
enough to limit interaction I really am trying to
like you
but I am under no guise that beneath these magnolia walls
before these coats of Nippon were smeared in
permanence prior to our lodging in this wannabe Hilton
who was to tell if things were going to be different if
I — decorated our home
if it's even going to be furnished at all.